Telling people “Don’t read the comments!” started as a bit of a joke, but now it’s full-on enabling behaviour.
Something that I’ve been thinking about for a loooong time but haven’t found the voice to articulate around the contexts of shaming, victim blaming and the long-term impacts of the psyche of both victims and perpetrators alike.
Know someone who’s habitually late?
And does it piss you off as much as it pisses me off?
Are you in a relationship with an assclown?
Read this, feel clarity then pack your things and get the hell outta there, because you and I both know that you deserve someone who sees your magnificence.
The neurobiology of Anorexia Nervosa.
Eating disorders are complex and the physical and mental impacts are profound. The heritability of Anorexia Nervosa is up to 74% and, with the highest mortality rate of any mental illness and only approx. 40% of sufferers ever making a full recovery (without relapse), it’s high time that we start exploring the complex neurobiology and the treatment implications for the future.
Every case deserves to be taken seriously – regardless of how long a sufferer has ‘had it’, regardless of how little they recognise their own disorder and/or want to get better, regardless of whether they’ve been told yet that they’re “sick enough”.
It’s quite literally a life and death situation.
How to not give a shit.
Even when you kinda actually do.
Sex should satisfy you both.
You do not have to deny yourself sexual fulfilment to spare someone’s feelings/performance anxiety.
Rather than dealing with our shit, we drink. Opposed to being alone, we over engage on social media (no wonder “Digital Addiction” has become an actual “thing”). Others get high on the rush of success and pepped on promotion. There’s addiction to substances, of course – legal medications, essential oils, cocaine. Addiction to online dating. Addiction to people. Addiction to pizza. Addiction to tattoos. Addiction to solitude. Addiction to sex.
The list is endless, and the more you get to thinking about it, the more it feels like anything can become an obsession when you’d rather numb-out than feel…and deal. Then there’s the replacement of one addiction with another. Partying for yoga. Work for a relationship…and so it goes.
Your brain on knitting.
Fun fact: My amazing Dad actually taught me to knit when I was a kid, and I’ve recently picked it up again as a way to ease stress. It’s beautifully simple.
Are you recovering from an eating disorder with an unsupportive family network?
I’ve spoken to a lot of women lately coming to me because their families are unsupportive and I want everyone to know — you are loved, you matter and there ARE options! Positivity in recovery is imperative.
Setting personal boundaries is so important.
It’s hard to flourish if you feel like you have no space to draw the line!
Don’t pretend to be okay when you’re not.
“I think it’s irresponsible to teach positivity without explaining how to deal with what’s already there: the pain, the dark stuff, the unhelpful beliefs that are underneath it all.”
Awesome advice over on Ravishly – don’t pretend to be okay when you’re not. There’s nothing sinful or shameful about not being okay. It happens to all of us and there are valuable lessons and moments to be found amongst the cloudiness.
Separating health and weight.
Because it’s not as simple as black and white.
What it’s like to star in a sex scene when you’ve had an eating disorder.
“As I mounted my brave actor, instead of offering him words of encouragement or creating a safe space for intimacy, I looked down at my cellulite sprawled over his six pack and whispered, “Would you actually fuck me in real life?” He smiled, as everyone on the crew rolled their eyes — I had been asking everyone this question all week. I guess my insecurity wasn’t as subtle as I thought.”
I did NOT wake up like this!
On editing and over-editing and our perception of reality is skewed by social media.
Anxiety isn’t ‘all in your head’…
The physiological impacts of mental illnesses are very real, too.
“Bulimia has to be one of the uncoolest disorders around because it involves two of the ickiest bodily functions: barfing and pooping. As one woman said to me recently, “Anorexics are seen to have a tragic real disease and bulimics are thought of as attention-seeking nut jobs.”
And finally, some words of wisdom:
“Sometimes we feel empty; we feel a vacuum, a great lack of something. We don’t know the cause; it’s very vague, but that feeling of being empty inside is very strong. We expect and hope for something much better so we’ll feel less alone, less empty… because we feel empty, we try to find an object of our love. Sometimes we haven’t had the time to understand ourselves, yet we’ve already found the object of our love. When we realize that all our hopes and expectations of course can’t be fulfilled by that person, we continue to feel empty. You want to find something, but you don’t know what to search for.”
– Nhat Hanh