Self love isn't always easy, but it is always worth it - by Anastasia Amour @

I woke up in a foul mood. I felt emotionally drained, like I was carrying the weight of the world of my shoulders. It had been a tiring few days dealing with stressful situations and drama that I didn’t need and despite powering through it all, the negative emotions finally got the better of me. I was in a slump.

But I picked myself up, got out of bed and told myself I wasn’t going to wallow. I refused to be lazy and set out to proactively make myself feel better. I went for a long walk, I listened to uplifting music, I got some endorphins pumping with exercise, I wrote down my feelings in a letter… but none of it worked. I felt just as crappy as I did at the start of the day, and I couldn’t figure it out. “Shouldn’t I be okay by now?”

But then it hit me – I wasn’t listening to my self care rhythm.

Your self care rhythm speaks to you subconsciously and tells you what it needs to make you feel good – and what it wants can change from day to day. When I woke up, all I wanted to do was to lounge around on the couch in my undies, watch bad TV and eat more ice cream than I should. But I ignored that – I pushed those feelings aside and instead forced myself to do things that I knew had made me feel better in the past, even though I didn’t feel it in my heart that those were what I wanted to do in that moment.

I should have listened to my self care rhythm. And the second I did listen to it and did what it wanted me to do, I felt better. Just like that.

To truly honour your self care rhythm, you need to let go of the desire to ignore what your soul has to tell you. Our souls always tell us what they need to be nurtured with, but so often we ignore them by “should”-ing them out of the way.

For instance, my soul told me to take a day of pure relaxation, but I told myself that I should get out there and try and be productive. We stay in jobs that make us unhappy because we spent so much money in training, and should see them out. We spend time with toxic people who suck the life out of us because we should spend time with them. Do you see where this is going?

We talk ourselves out of what our soul wants all the time because we confuse our self care rhythm with something frivolous, and we see the “should’s” that we give ourselves as logical arguments. The self care rhythm that your soul is telling you is not frivolous, or illogical or nonsense. In fact, it ties hand in hand with logical argument.

Sure, you might have spent thousands on tuition, but a career that makes you happy could allow you to become both spiritually and financially wealthy. You might have been friends with someone for a long time, but it doesn’t make sense to continue to nurture that relationship if it’s having negative impacts. We need to learn to listen to our self care rhythms, because they sync up with what we know is the best move for us.

Your self care rhythm is the tune of your soul. Do you listen? Click To Tweet

It’s not always easy to identify what your soul is telling you, and becoming in tune with your self care rhythm can be difficult if you don’t know what to listen out for. Sometimes, your self care rhythm will make itself known in a dream, sometimes you’ll see something that will remind you of your true desires and other times it will be a gut feeling. Maybe for you it’s an inner-voice or an internal whisper.

However you hear or feel it, it’s important not to ignore your self care rhythm.

If you want to hear and understand your self care rhythm, all you need to do is stop.

Slow down.


Stop moving, stop talking and just pause for a moment.

It’s so much harder to listen to what your soul wants when you’re busy doing 300 things at once. And today, we’re all well accustomed to being multitasking mastermind Superwomen who never take a moment to even hear themselves think. It’s time to stop.

It’s not selfish to take a momentary break. So, take just a few moments to be still and silent, and listen for your self care rhythm.

Anastasia Amour Inside Out Book - Download a free chapter (1)

Download a FREE chapter of my bestselling guide to self-love, 'Inside Out'

You'll learn proven psychological strategies, tips and activities to re-wire your brain, build resilience & transform your mind-body relationship.

Thank you! Please check your inbox for your download link :)